 T.VAINIO - KEYBOARDS
Widely worshipped for his extraordinary talent for climbing vertical poles and overrelaxed attitude towards the basic laws of gravity, Mr. Vainio is able to play over 100 different musical instruments if he chooses to and simultaneously keep up an interesting conversation. Raised by Humpty Dumpty in disturbingly fictious surroundings, he'll be the last person to teach your grandmother to suck eggs, although he's well known for his penchant for cooking cream cheese spinach omelettes. After 26 years roaming the uncharted territories, and additional 2 weeks spent on a vacation in sunny Greece, he now likes to deny any bloodties to ancient vikings and is quick to point out that life is actually quite rewarding if you're in the position to make a living out of it. M. VÄLIMÄKI - GUITAR
unsurpassable taste in how to wear his facial hair, mr. Välimäki likes to sleep 22 hours a day and take it easy during the waking hours. Father of nine, he was abducted as a teenager by a passing group of antireligious vegetarians and held hostage for hours in their underground headquarters in Netherlands until everyone got real bored and went home. Developed allergy to carrots after the incident and, due to his congenital inability to deal with oar-shaped objects, rowed his way home using a cross he came across on a nearby churchyard that was the original scene of his kidnapping. M.MÄKINEN - GUITAR
Widely worshipped by his astounding musical ability, it's surprising that there's still virtually millions of people who have never heard of him. Nominated "The person most likely to adorn the cover of some guitar magazine or other some day" by a jury of chosen few, he goes from strenght to strenght. His merits include numerous actual musical compositions containing parts that differ from the previous one and occasionally performing on stage in front of an live audience consisting of people who were not all his relatives or some other way familiar to him. Awarded "The Most Convincing Attempt At Playing Guitar Properly" by Guitar Universe magazine. J. KORKKINEN - BASS
Widely worshipped for his unusually high level of bass guitar godness, Mr. Korkkinen likes to tell his followers that if you can't do it with four strings, there's no way you can possibly do it with eight. Is hard pushed to admit that some of his more modern musical devices have no strings attached. Often downplays his role as an wholesale distributor of all things pure and beautiful and tends to get excited about certain issues that are mostly unknown to people who have no knowledge of such things whatsoever. Avid practiser of unspeakable arts and a devoted collector of inflatable dartboards, his face would frequently smile at you from the cover of Bass Guitar Players' World, complete with an in-depth interview inside, if such a magazine existed. E. VIRTA - DRUMS
Widely known as a teller of outrageously tall tales and everything that comes with bells on, mr. Virta has made a successful career in imaginary gardening and has won numerous prizes for his instantly withering breed of roses. Always smiling and outgoing, he tends to frown a lot and lock himself up in dark and confined spaces to brood on sinister things. Is in the habit of pointedly ignoring the fact that it's all pointless, in fact. Glides through life with grace and enviable ease, experiencing only happiness and love, as can clearly be seen by anyone who takes time to decipher the lyrics he writes. T. JOUTSEN - VOCALS
Widely regarded as the most handsome and pleasant man in the block of flats he inhabits, he's also a master of bating his breath when no one's watching and shouting at neighbours in foreign languages only known to himself. Mr. Joutsen is able to jump as far as he wants to and not care about the opinions of people who question the usefulness of such ability. Armed with a voice that disarms those who hear it to the point of being completely unarmed, his hobbies include many novel activities that have no proper names and fishing. |