I frequently wonder where’s the sense in keeping up a mostly non-functional band. I hate the idea of playing music as a “hobby” and I strictly refuse to let things slip to a point where it becomes a so-called therapy band. So I frequently wonder where’s the sense and what keeps me from giving up. When I consider the pros and cons of being in a band the negative side clearly outweighs the positive. There’s six people in Sinisthra, living in three different cities so organising rehearsals is complicated. Six people with differing views and opinions is way too many to get anything creative done and actually finish it too. This sometimes puts an additional strain on the overall mood once the rehearsals finally take place. Usually the rehearsals fail to take place since there doesn’t seem to be a good enough reason to rehearse. Playing just for the sake of playing has lost its’ appeal years ago, to me at least. I want to make records that contain music I can be proud of.

The biggest strain is without a doubt this aimlessness we’ve been trying to cope with for the past few years. It’s hard to stay motivated if your only goal is to “release an album once the songs are written” but you have no one to release the album or even pay for its’ recording. Now the songs are finally written and ready to be recorded but the negotiations with labels have been faltering greatly after a promising start. I’ve been at it for six months now and it has amounted to nothing but frustration and dozens and dozens of e-mails, from me along the lines of “now do you want it or not” and from the other parties along the lines of “yes we do thank you” but still nothing happens. Pardon my french but my sentiments on this whole record label-subject boils down to “I hate this shit”. The most infuriating aspect of this kind of dawdling is that it literally breaks the bands up after shattering their morale first. This has gnawed at the core of Sinisthra, too, for a long time now. During my particularly pessimistic bouts I sometimes think that Sinisthra has already ended years ago. We released an album on 2005, did several live shows after that and since then the band has been more or less dormant, with the singer understandably focusing his time and attention mainly on creating a career in a much bigger band, and also, although on a much smaller scale, the drummer and the guitarist being involved in another band too.

Mr. Joutsen has released two albums with Amorphis (that went, deservedly, gold in Finland) and toured the world. Me and Mr. Välimäki have recorded and released two albums with The Puritan (that didn’t go gold anywhere and weren’t exactly supposed to) and our first cd release on Spinefarm Records is actually being mastered today in Finnvox while I’m writing this. The other members of Sinisthra have been doing what people with dayjobs and families do, while trying to find some time here and there for the band too. The latest negative development is our bass player moving to another city, far enough to present a brand new set of problems for making the band rehearsals happen.

But we’re not breaking up just yet, if it’s up to me. The only positive side is still as rewarding as it always were, maybe even more so nowadays. I still think the music we come up with is wonderful and playing the songs can’t be compared to anything else or explained satisfactorily to someone who doesn’t know what it feels like. That’s enough for me to keep going. But I really need to resolve this “who’s going to release the album”-business first.

THIS WEEKS’ SOURCE OF FRUSTRATION:
Summer passed us by this year in Finland, with only a slightest nod of acknowledgement of “yes I know what season it’s supposed to be but I don’t care” before skipping straight into autumn. I wore a woolly sweater today when going outside and that’s not something I’d willingly do on August. We didn’t have a proper winter this year either. The endtimes undeniably are upon us and as soon as the birds start to fly backwards I’m prepared to sprinkle dust on my head and roll in the ashes.

THIS WEEKS’ SOURCE OF DELIGHT:
It’s not all doom and gloom though, what with all the summer-not-happening and Sinisthra-not-releasing-an-album. There’s always biscuits, and circus. With a stronger emphasis on circus this time. Cirque Plume from France have performed their “Plic Ploc” show in Helsinki for a few weeks now to sold out audiences. How to describe a show where people (but not the audience) get drenched by showers of water on regular basis and throw somersaults and play all kinds of instruments when they’re not getting drenched? My backside grew numb during their two hour show and it was very crowded in a tent full of people but it was a lovely experience and well worth the high-ish ticket price. The last time I laughed as much and as freely was when I swam in the Mediterranean Sea last month. It’s easy not to laugh like a child when brooding on band-related things but it’s very hard not to laugh like a child while swimming in a warm sea, or while visiting a good circus.