As the year draws to a close
my attention is drawn to my nose
and whether I’ve kept it clean!

Was the year filled with lows?
an endless succession of blows?
nay, ‘twas the best I’ve ever seen!

All in all not much wailing arose
the sun shone upon me and my toes
and my olfactory parts, all agleam!

Meaning the past year was very nice indeed thank you very much. The highly confidential talks between me and The Loved One at about 3AM on New Years’ Eve a year ago (“let’s make this a good year ok?”) lead to a carrying out of certain plans and coming to fruitition of several expectations. Resulting in an enjoyable and happy year and without a doubt the best one I’ve experienced so far. I’m looking forward to having more years of this kind in the future. The Long Dark Teatime Of The Soul spanning the barely illuminated and now only scarcely remembered night between the years 2001 and 2006 is now firmly behind me for the time being and will not be missed much.

“Hedonism” was the word for 2008, with travelling and focusing on little pleasures of life, made easier by the comfortable rise in my income. The word for 2009 seems to be “Recession”, with yet more travelling and further focusing on the pleasures of life, made a bit uneasier by the recent drop in my income. Being out of work at the moment naturally means an unexpected amount of free time, all of which has gone on to raise the quality of my life so far. Of course this won’t be the case if my unemployment goes on for months but for now I’m enjoying my leisure after having worked very hard for the whole year. And there’s no need to lower the overall quality of life just yet. Next week we’ll head for London and since 1 GBP is now virtually synonymous to 1 EUR it might be wise to bring along as large a suitcase as possible.

And now to other things. I’ve been reading and researching the work of John Milton for the past few years, because of a certain lyrical project. The project is now finished, at long bloody last one might say, and I’m not going to open up “Paradise Lost” for some time if ever again (I feel the same about “Kalevala” too but that might pass, given time). Deciphering the meanings behind some of those sentences is like juggling bricks. Really understanding them is next to impossible, with my limited intelligence, and from my limited modern day viewpoint. Interpreting the things contained in there and trying to infiltrate them into your own work, avoiding sheer plagiarism, is, well, not exactly a walk in the park. Therefore I’m very relieved to put John Milton aside for now and shed some light on John Melton instead. I happened upon him when reading about the English folklore of the face and features, as a gentleman is prone to do upon times of not knowing what to read, and since I’ve now seriously strayed from my topic if I had one to start with, and can’t convincingly draw comparisons between the two Johns apart from similarities in name and both of them existing in roughly the same time in roughly the same city, it might be best if I conclude this with an insightful quote from mr. Melton and move on:

‘When a man's nose itcheth, it is a signe he shall drink wine’.

I checked back on what I wrote back in 2002 on a similar year-drawing-to-a-close situation as this in the original Pressure Valve and found an entry with an half-assed attempt at humorousness and jollity and Douglas Adamsian style of putting together of words. O how times change and o how “now” is so much better than “then”.

30.12.2002 From The Pressure Valve

As the year draws to a close and a new one looms ahead, it's time to look back and find out what went wrong, in order to make the same mistakes again. Whoops. I mean in order not to make the same mistakes again.

As everyone surely agrees, the biggest mistake was to get out of bed in the first place. After that things went mostly downhill. So it's really important to remember this time not to get out of bed. At all. However, if by some sort of misunderstanding you were to find yourself getting out of bed anyway, it's essential to get back to bed as quickly as possible. And stay there. Until the year is finished. That's the best advice I can give.

But of course there's always people who refuse to play it safe and still get out of bed on the first of January, making lame excuses like I really need to use the toilet, or I'm fucking starving or my back hurts for staying in bed for too long. Poor bastards and lost causes.

If you really want to face a new year and make it a good one, then at least keep in mind a few simple rules:

1. Don't shower or shave too often. Nobody likes clean people, they arouse suspicions.
2. Smoke and drink as much as possible. Gives you credibility.
3. When meeting up with strangers, never plan anything you might want to say. Just open your mouth and see what comes out. It's called spontaneous discussion and you're bound to make an impression. Instead of telling a girl that her tits look real nice you can ask her what she thinks of your false moustache.
4. Consider the option of getting back to bed. It's not too late.
5. Tell everyone you're from Sweden. Gives you an mysterious air, being foreigner and all. Or just simply gives you air.
6. Go somewhere you didn't want to be in the first place and then refuse to leave.
7. Go back to bed. Please.
8. Smoke and drink as much as possible. Gives you additional credibility.
9. Use the Force if you have to. Guaranteed to make you look ridiculous.

THIS WEEKS’ BOTTLES OF CHOICE:
Château Sénilhac 2003, red wine from France. My first attempt at tasting bordeaux and not a very successful one. I chose this because it was rated very high in its’ price range but didn’t find much to enjoy. An hour after decanting it was sharp and bitterish, with a sourness to it I didn’t like at all. The others at the table didn’t complain so the wine was fine but not to my tastes. Maybe my taste buds haven’t evolved far enough to appreciate the wine of bordeaux just yet. Or maybe they are just calibrated differently and will never enjoy things like this. At a Christmas Eve dinner several days earlier the white wine was riesling from Alsace, costing three times as much as the white wines I usually buy and occasionally also enjoy, but I didn’t find much difference in the taste, and certainly it didn’t taste three times better... so, maybe my taste buds are still in budding phase. Or whatever. Happy New Year.